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You Look Like I Need a Drink

**Not Quite Web 2.0**

Skymall's 10 Worst Products

Sunday, July 30, 2006

On a commuter flight from Baltimore Washington International to Logan airport in Boston a few weeks back, I decided to peruse the copy of Skymall to see if I had recently missed any gadgets that I needed to know about. Call it old age or being raised as a cynic, but have their products always been so meaningless? I decided to compile a list of their top 10 worst products.

10.

Are you ready to fork over $229 so you too can be the talk of the tailgate party while hanging with your NASCAR buddies? Seriously though, with $229, you could buy out the stock of plastic lawn chairs at your local Home Depot. The plastic lawnchairs won't impress the ladies much but then think of all the lapdances you can buy with your saved money.

9.

A $45 uber large rubber band is what this product is. What happened to just pushing the two twin beds together? Of course if you are having an orgy, this product might come in handy, but otherwise, why bother?

8.

Paying $40 dollars for something that dispenses soap does seem extravagant. Yes, it is motion activated and yes, it does play 'chimes' whilst dispensing. The only good thing that could come of this product is if the ROOMBA hackers modded this product to play mp3s or maybe shoot out a jet of fire at some randomly generated time.

7.

If you need to fork over $120 so Chuckles, your pet toy poodle can get some fresh air, I will personally come over and kill you execution style. What a waste of money, for a pet no less. What happened to driving around your neighborhood, taking a broken stroller left on the curb and fixing it to hell with duct tape?

6.

$30 dollars for the world's largest crossword puzzle. Look, I like crossword puzzles as much as the next person and wasted many a college hour back at the University of Hawaii working on them during class, but this is just silly. Nothing screams 'I am a big dork with no life' than hanging this on your wall and actually working on it.

5.

$450 dollars for a WTF? contraption. Yes, people will see you as eccentric and maybe somewhat enlightened when they walk into your living room and see this bizarre exercise equipment meant to stretch out your back. This picture amuses me more and more every time I see it.

4.

At first, there seems nothing wrong with this picture. Dude by the pool chilling in some weird $99 hammock. Then we find out the damn hammock is 'portable.' Who the hell brings a hammock around anyway? Such a wasteful product but I can see the upside of bringing this to your next Monday morning corporate meeting.

3.

For $20, you too can turn your state of the art, iPod into a baby toy. There are a plethora of iPod accessories so why the hell would Skymall feature this one?

2.

If you can't get off the john, there is no way you will be seeing this ad as you probably also can't get off of the airplane seat where they house Skymall. $60 dollars buys you a 'Safety Seat Toilet Support.' Why can't your elderly family member not just use a cane I am not sure. But at this point, I would rather have grandma stuck on the toilet rather than clean up yet another mess she left in the dining room.

1.

And the number one worst item at Skymall, (drum roll please). For a small donation of $160 dollars, you-pool owner can now never have to actually swim in your pool again (if you don't want to). The 'Motorized Pool Lounger' is a floatie with propellers that allows you to bask in cancer ridden sun rays and never again will you have to deal with that evil Chlorine saturated water.
Honorable mention also goes to the Snack Float.

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posted by aL, 10:49 AM | link | 23 comments |

Kape, Karaoke and Kubuntu

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I will concur with those who tell me I have been slacking here at chalkline. However, I am currently working on the next project (which shall be fully documented and hopefully done in the next two weeks). In the meantime, a (mostly) non tech related post but here are some pictures from my vacation in Cape Cod, and also some from Karaoke night at Galaxy Hut. As for the tech part, I have been running Kubuntu on my laptop for the last 3 weeks and although I have partitioned my drive so I can dual boot Windoze, I have enjoyed Kubuntu to the point where Windows on my laptop is not so necessary.
Cape Cod after 10:30 PM has very little options for food. On two consecutive nights, we ended up getting Chinese food at this ghetto ass Chinese restaurant in Orleans. The food was bad but no one was complaining.
A more lively picture here (and also jumping both time and space), I appear possessed while singing a horrible bad song with Zack. Trust me, the Guinness helped boat loads.
It was my friend Kate's birthday so I had to post this one. Also at Galaxy Hut and for once, she sang!
Jumping back to Cape Cod, this poster picture was taken in Provincetown where a large gay community dwells. Funny enough, all the straight bars we hit on the previous days just sucked.
Here is my friend Mike who is neither gay nor a 'bear.' I kept referring to him as 'Bear' all night long and he stopped finding that amusing really quick.
Sunrise off of my friend's 'backyard' at 6 AM. Why was I up? Thank my buddy insomnia.
An old buoy turned into a birdhouse.
Morning from porch view.

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posted by aL, 10:28 PM | link | 0 comments |