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You Look Like I Need a Drink

**Not Quite Web 2.0**

A Geek's Guide to Moshing

Sunday, August 06, 2006

*This post is by no ways the definitive guide on what you should do in a mosh pit but merely a few tips on what you can do to reduce injury. I am not a concert veteran with hundreds of concerts, but in my last decade and a half of surviving concerts ranging from 'Suicidal Tendencies' to 'Dropkick Murphys,' I have picked up a few tips. So let's get started.

Body (self)
*Hands: Clench your hands into balled fists (you don't have to squeeze all that much). Fingers outstretched in a pit can get snagged, kicked, punched, etc. Avoid that scenario by not exposing your fingers.

*Feet Position: This is important. If there is enough room, stance should be one foot farther back (for support) and the other foot up front (like you are walking forward). You want balance when being knocked around.

*Arms: Pretend you are hugging a half keg. Now lower them to your side so you look like some scary bouncer. Arms go up to the holding-keg position when the crowd starts to pit. You now have yet another barrier between you and the crowd.

Awareness (mind)
*Avoid: Do not wear excessive jewelry, rings for they can get torn off and make your fellow moshers even more angry. While in the pit, watch out for crowd surfers sporting boots, large belt buckles and the such. Remember, if it is attached to you or someone else, it can be ripped off (literally).

*Military: Unless you yourself are in the military and have your boys to back you up, I would say avoid pitting where the jarheads and grunts congregate. If you want to answer to the whole platoon for accidentally punching one of their brother's in the jaw, I suggest you find another place to pit.

*Skins: Along with the whole military thing, these tips are just generalizations, it doesn't account for everyone in the military nor what I am about to write. Skinheads. God love their testosterone, but stay the hell away from a group of them. Usually the lone skinhead won't bother you much but get stuck in the middle of a bunch of them and then you might want to find the quickest exit.

Tips (in general)
*Tip: If you are heavily intoxicated, stay out of the pit. Reaction time combined with heavy body water loss (sweating) is no good combination.

*Tip: Piercings, take them out.

*Tip: Bring a buddy to mosh too. He/she can at least watch your back.

*Tip: Don't pick on women moshers. If she has no boyfriend, there are always a steady stream of heroes ready to help her out.

*Tip: Don't be a dick if someone falls or gets knocked down. Reach in and help them up.


posted by aL, 2:44 PM | link | 3 comments |

Shaken Baby Syndrome

Shopping at Petsmart with my kiddo, I came across a 'shake me' sticker on a toy. I decided that a 'shake me' label on an infant's onesie would be horribly un-PC of me. So I fired up Photoshop CS2 and got to work. Something tells me I am going to get a one way ticket to the 7th Circle of Hell for posting this picture.


posted by aL, 12:30 PM | link | 14 comments |