You Look Like I Need a Drink

After getting accosted by numerous friends and strangers alike regarding where I get my shirts, I decided to come up with a list of online t-shirt sites that I frequent. This list is by no means complete but will point you in a better direction of what is out there. Let's take a look.

If you have not heard of T-Shirt Hell, surely you must be living in some remote ice cave somewhere in the far north with your hairy fingers jammed deep into your ears. Their shirts are so un-PC and full of disgusting slogans that you can either stare with mouth agape, laugh at the raunchy shirts or immediately go to confession. Seriously though, who hasn't heard of this site?

Moving onto ThinkGeek, we foray knee deep in geek shirts. If binary on your shirt does not qualify you as a computer geek or programming nerd, I don't know what does. They carry everything from your Slashdot shirt to a coder's shirt. ThinkGeek has a pretty large selection of computer related shirts as well as other apparel (like jewelry?), toys, and books.

Jinx made a name of themselves by advertising their shirts on the Screen Savers and later on G4TV. Their motto is 'Gamers, Geeks and Hackers' and their site has grown exponentially within the last year. Although I have not recently purchased anything from them, they do update and offer new shirts on a pretty regular basis. As with ThinkGeek, Jinx also has a bunch of other goodies aside from t-shirts.

Personally, I harbor a secret infatuation for Threadless. OK, maybe not that secret but they roll out shirts faster than a fat clown being chased by a steamroller. Yet, with all the new shirts, often if you wait for more than a week the shirt you were drooling over will be long since bought out. Basic economics of supply and demand but the demand is high. About two weeks ago I went out to a sort of hipster bar and a right off the bat a friend spotted 3 other people rocking a Threadless shirt.

Spreadshirt has so damn many user submitted shirts that some of them are bound to catch you. I must have spent roughly an hour one night just going through and seeing what they had in their catalogue. Their shirts tend to be less offensive and more politcal, funny or just weird. Really, they have a humongous selection of shirts and are on the dot when it comes to filling an order. But don't take my word, go check it yourself.

Busted Tees has a kind of campy feel good variety of funny shirts that you can maybe get away with wearing when going to church on Sunday (not that you would do such a thing). Think catchy but sarcastic catch phrases with a minmal amount of art. They don't try to overdo the artsy thing and it works. However, their catalog of shirts is not quite as large as some of the above listed sites.

Spraygraphic's site sometimes makes me want to take the claw end of my hammer and bury it deep in my left foot. With all the flash animation and preselected music playing, it feels like I am being forced to visit some MySpace kiddie's uber overloaded page. If not for some of their cool designs, I would not have added them to this list. Sometimes, when you're looking for clothes, you just want the cut and dry catalog. Waiting for site load time sucks.

I have not purchased any shirts from Snorg but my lord at least two of the women models are smoking hawt. Sexism aside, Snorg also conjurs up the likeliness of shirts at Busted Tees. Everything from pop culture, iconic dumb and universally hated president shirts to shirts saluting the 40oz can all be found here. Also need to mention that Snorg also does not have a huge collection of shirts. Hey, apparently an online shirt business is harder than one might think.

I am still slightly unsure what to think of ThreadPit. They seem to lack a general theme but hell, they have a Hunter S. Thompson shirt so they are okay in book. Some of their designs are so bizarre I can't see anyone but a one legged stripper wearing them for the attention. I'm not jesting either. A shirt of a mime in Paris lighting fire to the Eiffel Tower? I know you'll have to check this link to see if I'm really joshing you. ThreadPit offers a decent selection of shirts although there are a few more of the 'what the hell kinda shirt is that?'

Sinfulshirts attempts to capture some of the market from buyers of T-Shirt Hell. They have some medium(ly) offensive shirts as well as some that will have zero meaning when the slang term used on the shirt dies off in a half year. However, amidst some of the trying offend you shirts, a few of them actually are more than halfway witty as well as offensive. Want an example? Yes, funny to browse online but I have not actually bought a shirt from these people.

Protoculture has avery small catalog of shirts but they made this list because of two of their shirts. I own the 'germ' shirt and even though I am not a full on germophobe, the shirt is the shit. And the second shirt would have to be the 'recessive riverboat gambling gene shirt.' Also love the prescription pills shirt 'relax because it's friday.' Oops, that was three reasons.

The guy at Preshrunk (at least I think it was preshrunk) was right about Panic's shopping cart. The thing rocks like um (insert witty simile here) something cool. Oh yes, back to shirts. Small selection of shirts at Panic but they all seem to at least be in the same vein so you sort of have a clue on what the rest of the shirts will look like even if you don't view them. Mostly clean slick designs with a few computer geek(esque) shirts to satisfay everyone. Or at least mostly everyone.

PalmerCash is another one of those sites that seems to have an old skool touch to their shirts. Then again they also claim to have 'vintage' clothes so that might be part of the reason. Although not generally the shirts I am into, PalmerCash has reasonable amount of shirts mixing in some humor, some bizarre vintage to regional humor shirts.

OMG Clothing which is occasionally featured on threadless had to have a mention. And once again, not such a large supply of shirts but then again you came for the quality, not quantity right? Ah, who the hell knows. OMG Clothing offers some of the tongue-in-cheek slightly geeky but more hipster than anything shirts with bright colorful designs and messed up looking animals or snarky (yes liz, snarky) slogans.

Oddica made it to this list too albeit their small catalog didn't do much to help. Definately some odd shirts in the collection. Have you seen 'for those about to rock?' Although they may have less shirts than some of the other sites listed, some of the artwork is done so well it almost feels like you're buying something more than just a shirt. Damn, that last line came out more cheesy than I had intended.

NoiseBot actually had a few shirts that made me laugh out loud. Also along the lines of 'vintage' clothing, simple designs, retro references to shows or pop culture and snazzy (not snarky) phrases. Here is one that amused me to no end. However, being amused and actually buying something amusing is two different things. Good thing NoiseBot has a fair selection of stuff.

Lucha Workshop shirts have such a level of intense artistry that I just want to take their designs and draw them on my brother's back while he is passed out from drinking 3 beers. Their designs are like a whimsical industrialist. Or maybe their designs are like factory workers forced to draw while high on acid? Either way, their art is their selling point.

Honestly I am not crazy about the shirts at the Giant Robot store. But then again they have just recently started printing and for some of the entirely bizarre random but cool stuff they sell, I have high hopes for their shirts to get progressively better. As is, artists are already populating their store and it seems like everytime I check, new shirts are being printed.

Much like the Giant Robot store selling shirts, I also have high hopes for the Engrish store. Their actual site is funny as balls. It would seem like their shirts have been a relatively new thing so I am patiently awaiting to see what makes it down for printing. Their store does have a moderate amount of shirts but once again, most of them seem like filler, and not a shirt you would want to wear out on a regular basis. They also offer and assortment of other odds and ends.

Enclothe (btw, the chick on the main page of the site is also kinda fine) is the home of the infamous, 'I'm claiming it before you do' ghost pirate hoodie (wow, was that a mouthful). So to anyone reading this that I might know in person, find something else to wear or buy bastard, this one I am claiming. Also need to mention that the featured catalog is unfortunately small.

ELSEWARES offers more on the artsy side of shirt designs. Honestly I see more women's than men's shirts here and the prices may be a little higher than the average t-shirt site. Then again, some of the shirts look more designer and I guess that equals to a higher costing shirt? ELSEWARES has a lot of offset picture placement which does look good in the pictures. But then as formerly mentioned, prices can be a bit higher and as being a cheap Chinese bastard, I have yet to buy one even if the designs are kinda sweet.

Defunker reminds me of the shirts at threadless and/or OMG Clothing. The style generally fits with the feeling of the site and the art is articulate if not poking fun-most of the times. Now come to think of it, I do think they have had their shirts on Threadless. Damn! Maybe I better slow down on the beer and focus a little more. Before I forget, selection is rather slim but the shirts they do have look good.

How many more sites that offer vinatge clothing that offendes people can we have? Don't get me wrong, the people at DeezTeez have a fair amount of fairly anti-you shirts but it comes to a point when all of it blurs and all you think of is that jackass frat boy who was wearing one of those shirts at the concert who was hitting on your girlfriend but you were too much of a wuss to step up-well you get the gist.

I absolutely love the site name of Crowded Teeth. It conjures up the image of me back in highschool having to get four teeth pulled all at once and then not taking the pain killers until one day bored at school and then taking handful during Biology and have to throw up like a madman. Um, shirts eh? This site listed is more for the girlies (or maybe uber sensitive boys?). More pastel shirts with cutesy designs of animals and the such. Hell, if I were a girl (or a more sensitive guy), I'd be buying shirts here too.

Although I didn't promise you more vintage, it looks like I have another one for you. BUT Cotton Factory does have a few cool designs. The 'Mad Scientist' would be a great gift to any science dedicated person. The 'Pile Up' shirt is also kind of nice in a really minimalistic way. And who the hell doesn't like penguins flying while wearing jet packs? There are some decent shirts here but I did warn you about the 'vintage.'

Amorphia gets kudos simply to the Nietzsche shirt. Then again, if I could find any good Lovecraftian shirts, I would not hesitate to fling my own poo in celebration. Amorphia has some pretty funny, stuff that should not be funny shirts. Very pop culture and up to date, somewhat (here comes that fucking word again) vintage and yet most of the shirts, even the bad ones aren't all that bad.

Quickly tab 80's Tees and tell me those broads weren't born until maybe until the early 90's. I'm all expecting to see some 80's models with teased Debbie Gibson hair. Anyway here is the final link. I had a bunch more but this post is officially killing me so we are ending it here. Transformers, G.I Joe, Thundercats, you name it. Good hunting.

*(update) Part two of shirt site reviews are here.

*del.icio.us it!

*On Reddit

Labels: Misc, Review