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You Look Like I Need a Drink

**Not Quite Web 2.0**

The Tragic Flaw Theory (the unicorn girl does not exist)

Sunday, April 09, 2006


AK0808 writes:*What is the Tragic Flaw Theory (TFT)?

In essence, a tragic flaw is the one glaring flaw you find in a potential partner that keeps you from pursuing that person. A tragic flaw is not always based on physical deformities such as a severed appendage, a glass eye or malformed baby sized arm on an adult. A tragic flaw is not always revealed quickly as the flawee may already be aware of the flaw and attempt to mask it.
Tragic Flaw Theory states that in every ideal partner, there will always be one all encompassing reason why a relationship with this person will never work.

1337 Sl4x0r writes:*If TFT exists, then why are so many people married and in love?

People are willing to overlook the shortcomings of their partners based on various reasons. The number one reason is that the tragic flaw has not yet been identified. Have you ever heard the term 'ignorance is bliss?' Truth of the matter is that there is no 'Unicorn Girl' (will be explained shortly) and that humans are full of flaws and more willing to bypass the cracks in a mate's personality or physical aspects and settle. But deep down underneath those lint caked toenails lurks the deadly infection of ideas. 'Would I love her more if she had bigger boobies?' 'Would he be the one if he could keep a job?'

drkmatter writes:*Tell me more about Unicorn Gril (sic).

You bloody wanker, we are not talking about outdoor cooking machines here. 'Unicorn Girl' is a term dubbed by my associate kpR who states that not unlike a mythological siren or extremely attrative equine with one horn, the perfect woman simply does not exist. Like a unicorn, it is only fantasy.

Proofs:
IF UG=True, then unicorns, leprechauns, and menehunes exist as well.
IF UG=False, then TFT=True, as there is no perfect partner.
Case Study:
*Study (a)'s tragic flaw was an inability to carry on simple mundane conversations. Study (a) would have made up sexually for being such a lackwit, but the tragic flaw kept study (a) from being in a stable relationship.
*Study (b)'s tragic flaw is the inability to tell the truth. Although not a pathological liar, by fabricating too many false stories, the partner eventually caught on to some descrepancies in logic and in the timeline.
*Study (c)'s tragic flaw is errant and unpredictable behavior. Gang bangs and meth binges aside, study (c) suffers from clinical depression and is prone to wearing clown costumes while vacuuming the garage.
*Study (d)'s tragic flaw is simply, nagging. Study (d)'s nagging has driven a former partner to drinking and months of unabashed silence.

John911 writes:*Thank you for the overview of TFT. Are you really a scientist and are the case studies real?

The case studies are indeed factual and were tested on barnyard animals in a rural Pennsylvanian town. TFT is verified beyond all doubt.

Labels:

posted by aL, 8:22 AM

4 Comments:

I'm really glad you mentioned that last bit about the barnyard animals...I was beginning to wonder if all the aforementioned tragic flaws were somehow based on me. Which leads me to wonder exactly what my tragic flaw is....
commented by Anonymous LiZ, 8:30 PM  
ouch! spicy...
commented by Anonymous aL, 11:18 PM  
yep...."Hot, Hot, Hot...."
commented by Anonymous LiZ, 10:01 AM  
Twas very hot, I must say!
commented by Blogger Money Pays The Rent, 8:51 PM  

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