Rubbish Fish and Delicacies
Friday, December 02, 2005
On the beautiful island of Oahu (yes, in Hawaii which does belong to the USA, I promise) we have an endearing canal named the 'Ala Wai.' Roughly translated to 'filled with shit,' this canal sits a 5 minute drive from the gleaming shopping mecca known as Ala Moana (big fucking shopping center) and located in the famous Waikiki beach, the Ala Wai spills her great juices into our opaque blue oceans. This cesspool has been a long running gag with stories about dead bodies, a repository for chemical wastes, sewage, used condoms and other such wonderful things of beauty. The stories are only partway true as the signs near the Ala Wai do in fact discourage fishing, boating, and swimming as it may cause you to grow a third eye right below a nipple. Now my convoluted story in a nutshell is that in this polluted bog of death and disease, one fish flourishes like a mad multiple cat owning widow. Talipia. So I don't care that the Tilapia here on the East Coast is bred and raised in a sterile farm. All I see when I look at the menu and Talapia is on it, is the dead look of disease in the Talapia when I shine a flashlight into the Ala Wai at night.