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Rubbish Fish and Delicacies

Friday, December 02, 2005

What is wrong with this picture you ask? Well nothing really if you live in the 48 contiguous states. Really, at this point most people will wonder why they are still reading this blog. But to those just over a million people in Hawaii, let's take about half, so roughly 500,000 of those in Hawaii who can actually read. Well now that I have thoroughly insulted less than 1% of my Hawaii readers, let me just tell you for the misinformed what is wrong with this picture.
On the beautiful island of Oahu (yes, in Hawaii which does belong to the USA, I promise) we have an endearing canal named the 'Ala Wai.' Roughly translated to 'filled with shit,' this canal sits a 5 minute drive from the gleaming shopping mecca known as Ala Moana (big fucking shopping center) and located in the famous Waikiki beach, the Ala Wai spills her great juices into our opaque blue oceans. This cesspool has been a long running gag with stories about dead bodies, a repository for chemical wastes, sewage, used condoms and other such wonderful things of beauty. The stories are only partway true as the signs near the Ala Wai do in fact discourage fishing, boating, and swimming as it may cause you to grow a third eye right below a nipple. Now my convoluted story in a nutshell is that in this polluted bog of death and disease, one fish flourishes like a mad multiple cat owning widow. Talipia. So I don't care that the Tilapia here on the East Coast is bred and raised in a sterile farm. All I see when I look at the menu and Talapia is on it, is the dead look of disease in the Talapia when I shine a flashlight into the Ala Wai at night.

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posted by aL, 9:04 PM

2 Comments:

Right on! I grew up in Hawai'i and I know what you mean about tilapia. Since I've moved off the Island, I've never felt the urge to order tilapia off of any menu I've seen it on just for this reason!
commented by Anonymous Dennis!, 2:32 AM  
First off I gotta say that Talapia's are rubish fish anywhere to me even if there farm rasised. You can get a 7lbs for a dollar now when thigs are that cheap they must be garbage. I didnt think youre comment about Hawaii people who can read was real nice cause you know that if you were to say that to a local he or she would pound you out, you must not be a Hawaiian talking smack like that.
commented by Blogger Jeremy, 2:05 PM  

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