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You Look Like I Need a Drink

**Not Quite Web 2.0**

Coheed and Cambria Suck Monkey Nuts

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

If I have to be subjected to any more wasteful, pop punk drivel from the sad excuse of a band named Coheed and Cambria, I will gladly look forward to having someone pour poison in one or both of my ears. Maybe it is because I am in a retched mood but being force fed something people actually consider music into my head by a group of talentless teens playing on their parent's musical instruments is something I would not relish on the finest of autumn days. The vocals sound like a midget getting choked by helium and I instantly want to jam pens in my ears so I can save my brains from melting and oozing out.

OK, that is going to be my angry rant for today. I should have an amusing picture for you later today when I dump the pics from my cellphone.


posted by aL, 9:54 AM


Right on, Al. Fuck Coheed. They suck balls. Always have.
commented by Anonymous Chris, 8:29 PM  
commented by Anonymous matt, 1:03 PM  
Matt's a moron. Not necessarily for liking Coheed and Cambria, but for getting quite so bent out of shape.

What bothers me about Coheed and Cambria is that they seem hell-bent on becoming the most pretentious band ever. Honestly, who can write a song called "Ten Speed (Of Gods Blood and Burial)" and NOT feel like a massive douchenozzle?

I get that they're going for some kind of quasi-spiritual enigmatism, but honestly, does anyone think they're not just jerking themselves off into the microphone?
commented by Anonymous Aaron, 9:16 AM  
I personally do not like the band...I was interested because they were labeled as progressive rock and people talk about these incredible complex song structures the band carries out. When I listened to them all I heard was basic timing structures repeated over and over for and extended length.

Compare these pop rockers to real progressive rock bands like King Crimson, mars volta, Rush or Pink Floyd or the grandfather of prog Miles Davis (bitches brew, live evil) and it is plain to see Coheed and cambria are mediocre standard pop marketed to idiots who think they are getting something new...

Standard instruments mixed with awful vocals and lyrics equal one giant turd that should be washed away with the flood...
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 4:17 PM  
they are horrible when i heard there song welcome home i couldnt understand a ward because of all the banging in the back ground and the squeaky little voice
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 10:02 PM  
what haters...
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 7:25 AM  
Woah, Coheed is an amazing band, not just their music, thats like 50% of why they are a great band, now go look up "The Armory" which is the stories and plots behind all their albums, coheed and cambria have alot of talent, and, also, one of Coheeds most inspiring artist is Rush hence to their tribute they did called "2113" so be a douchebag for no reason, or no good reasons to not like coheed and cambria, also Claudio Sanchez, their Lead singer/ Lead Guitarist, also has a side project named "the Prize Fighter Inferno" which is also Damn good music, maybe if you werent so damn dumbfounded about the true shit they do, maybe youd understand
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2:35 AM  
Also, "Ten Speed (Of Gods Blood and Burial)" you may think is about god, but really has nothing to do with god at all, go look up the story, find Ten Speed and youll be suprised
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2:37 AM  
coheed gargles balls, what fu@#ing drugs are you people on?!(those who like this trash)coheed sounds a bit like dwarfs on helium/pcp cocktail, coheed kick fuckin ass, learn some punctuation you idiot!!!
coheed is a little less annoying than fingernails on a chalkboard.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3:25 AM  
coheed&cambells or whatever is bullshit worst band i ever heard
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 10:54 PM  
alright, to the person who said what haters, stfu. i bet you complained about a band too. fuckin hypocrite
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3:44 AM  
Coheed fucking sucks. They are the worst fucking band out there, I have no idea why the fuck Slipknot let them on there tour. They fucking suck fucking monkey nuts I agree. Little kids fucking listen to this shit. I went to a concert yesterday, anybody over the age of 14 was fucking booing them. Plain and simple. THEY SUCK. They are terrible, there lead singer sounds like he hasn't even sprouted a pube. It's fucking annoying gave me a fucking headache, I wanted to shoot myself. Matt your dumb as hell, your some little 13 year old boy sitting at your computer thinking your all big and bad because you can mouth off to people much older than you. I'd like to see you do jack-shit in real life.
commented by Anonymous Spencer, 7:44 PM  
I just got back from the Slipknot show at the Tsongas Arena in Lowell Mass. I cannot believe that Trivium played before Dillweed and Cambria. Trivium is such a better band than Cockweed and Cambria that every member of Trivium could pull down their pants and shit on the stage and the leage singer of fuckweed and cmabria should let them wipe their asses with his puffy gay fucking hair cut. I want to grab a fist full of that fuck face's hair and rip it out. Not only does that band suck black nutsacks but their fans are a bunch of 12 year old cunts too. I was booing cc's whole set and I kept getting approached and asked why I was disrespecting the band and their fans. I simply replied because they suck my sweaty asshole and they should dive off the stage face first and kill themselves..

Trivium fucking rocks..
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2:54 AM  
you guys are douches the lead singer has the greatest vocal range of anybody today the guitars sounds fucking awesome and there so original you cant go to a record store and find music that sounds the same not to mention personally they're down to earth guys who put on kickass live shows
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 12:11 PM  
Coheed's just a bunch of talentless hacks who havent done anything that some other better band hasnt done before. and for shit's sake, if ur a coheed fan, dont put down other bands lead singers compared to Claudio, even in general, to make them seem better because it just makes u seem like either a retard, a fanboy, or a combination of the two. argue that they're good, not that others are bad. and to the guy that said trivium rocks... im sorry, their vocalist is terrible. sorry to be the one to break it to you. but dont worry, there are plenty of ACTUAL hard rock/metal singers out there for you to choose from
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 7:45 PM  
The only reason people don't like Coheed is because of Claudio's voice which is said because he's a great singer and people aren't used to hearing someone with that kind of range. And if you manage to actually listen to the music you might notice how good it is, and don't just listen to one of their pop songs. Listen to The Crowing or Willing Well or the stuff off Second Stage Turbine Blade and you'll realize how good they are.
commented by Anonymous God, 2:26 AM  
Man you guys are hating too much!!! Coheed is the most awesomistic band out there! If you can't understand what his wonderful voice is singing, LOOK UP THE EFFIN LYRICS MAN. Plus, i want to see you try and sing notes that high. It's not that hard. Every band has something that puts them apart from every other and Coheed's is Claudio's voice and lyrics. You guys can't even spot what true talent is. Matt, your my man. If your not into Coheed, suck it up. There's no need for you to criticize them. Just don't listen to it. Those who say they want to rip their ears out or whatever your obviously retarded or something cuz you can simply STOP THE MUSIC. Who's forcing you to listen? Gosh.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 9:52 PM  
wow such anger. i guess its all a matter of listen to what you like. you shouldn't discredit there talent just because you don't like their music, but I'm not saying you don't have the right to complain either. Coheed and Cambria is definitely an acquired taste, because i sure as hell didn't like them to begin with.Lol and yeah Aaron i agree. just like FALLOUT BOY and their annoying song titles, but i think Claudio Sanchez had Some sort of reasoning behind it, no matter how obscure. anyhow... JEEZ matt if your gonna defend something don't sound like a completely ignorant asshole, and if you want people to listen to you try to lay of the CAPS LOCK FOR CHRIST SAKE IT MAKES EVERYTHING HARDER TO READ and ultimately people don't want to pay attention to someone that shouts through text. lol Later People
commented by Anonymous Nick Jennings, 10:42 PM  
I do like how most people bagging on Coheed can't spell for shit or use words out of context, I.E. their/there/they're. I bet you all are a bunch of Slipknot lovers... fucking idiots.
commented by Anonymous Zak, 9:27 PM  
OMG!!! i fucking hate coheed and cambria! my fucking boyfriend is obsessed with them but i think they're really lame.....have stupid concepts....and are trying too hard to be a legendary band. Really...the comic thing sucks...it's like.you're going too far just stop, it doesnt matter. I tried to like them and i even saw them with slipknot (BTW I FUCKING LOVE SLIPKNOT!!! THEY'RE ONE OF MY favorite bands even though my lame boyfriend hates them)but every song they make sounds the same. I just think they're annoying and suck as a band all around.
commented by Blogger Rebecca, 1:36 PM  
I was at a party and we were using youtube to play songs we wanted to listen to. My friend told me to put on Coheed and Cambria: Mother Superior...
Wow... I was horrified the vocals were so fucking annoying, whiny, squeaky...
"So grow up and be a man!"
-Hey I got an idea, why don't you grow up and sing like a man.. like really I can't believe that such shitty vocals can travel into peoples ears and sound good to them!

To put icing on the cake I asked a guy at work what his fav band was and he said Coheed and Cambria...
And people think im weird because my favourite band is Rammstein...

Coheed and Cambria sucks, they look like greasers and they try too hard.

PS: to the guy insulting Slipknot fans over spelling. It's not how you spell words that matters, it's how you use them. And they used them quite well when they were trashing Coheed and Cambria. Stay (Sic) maggots!
commented by Blogger kayruul, 3:29 AM  
ok i may be years late, but who gives . look its obious you guys know nothing about the band. i love prog music, its what i live for, bands like the mars volta, 3 , the new caledonia, rush, floyd , the police etc. and coheed and cambria is a progressive band, in my honest opinion, i think bands like slipnot are a representation of worthless means. singing about redundant pretentious shit. its annoying, its for people who are emotionally disturbed, or people whom are for the most part half witted. theyre always singing about the same, things i feel have no meaning. the guitar riffs are mediocre at best, the bass is redundant and so are the drums. the percussion just sucks. coheed and cambria well if youve listened to all the first three albums, which i vouch are their best ones have many prog songs. but the thing you must understand about coheed is that, they play various styles in one album, which is a progression within its self. listen to songs like in keeping secrets of silent earth three, god send conspirator, the crowing,the light and the glass, everything evil, mother may i, Apollo II: the telling truth, from fear through eyes of madness,21113. lets not forget, the guitar riffs are by far top notch crisp quality sound. they play riffs in which build into progression,they are not at all simple, and difficult to play while singing.theyre even a little challenging to play without singing. the drums are not always that complexed but its grove oriented, and the the fills, and ghost snares give it extra suspense. they are not at all a pop band , only their singles are, for economic effect. you see to get noticed you make a catchy song, so more people become fans and buy the music. but argumentatively many of you will not agree with my opinion. its ok , im a musician so i think i know what im talking about .
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 7:25 AM  
Zak your boyfriend should dump your ass lol. C&C is one of the most instrumentally talented bands today. I don't get what they were doing at a slipknot concert, completely different genres. I also don't get how you people can stack Slipknot and Trivium up with Coheed, they have completely different playing styles. Coheed is more into making guitar riffs and melodies that flow together, rather than smash together a cacophony of guitar drums and screaming.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 12:11 AM  
I think you mean rebecca dude lol, and ya she's a dumbass.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 12:29 AM  
People who hate coheed has no sense of music and obviously don't know shit about melodies, metronome timings and stuff. If you don't like their songs at the first listen, find the acoustic versions. It'll change your life. I mean slipknot has songs that have no melodies and sense. Coheed's lyrics might seem weird but look up the comics that Claudio Sanchez is writing. And does any of you dumbfuck haters know that Mark Wahlberg is gonna produce a motion picture for the comic series that the band wrote?
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 6:50 AM  
The song titles are literally about the book, and the music videos have nothing to do with either the music or the books. Even the lyrics in the songs are usually word by word from the book. It took me a bit to get use to them, I bashed them too along time ago but now that I've taken the time to read the comics, their music has a lot more meaning.
commented by Blogger Amanda, 4:25 PM  
Nothing wrong with having your preference in music, but its pretty sad and fucked up when you need to bash someone else's just because you think they suck. :P
commented by Blogger Amanda, 4:27 PM  
lmao, rebecca, i feel sorry for both your boyfriend and my brain cells after reading that....you must've been either a fucking cringelord 14 year old when you wrote that wall of autism, or just braindead. slipknot? really? lol, either get some taste or go back to the kitchen, cunt. just because you dislike coheed doesn't mean they're "trying too hard to be legendary" or "going too far", where do you get that from? if you dislike a band, it means they're instantly pretentious? and oh yeah, fucking sue them for trying to be innovative and have interesting lyrics. it's like you're saying they shouldn't be trying at all. and their songs all sound the same? don't you know coheed are KNOWN for having diversity in their catalog? i don't care if you like them or not, you cannot deny the objective fact that their sound changes, hell even the VOCALS become vastly different as you listen to the albums chronologically (claudio has really matured throughout the years). all their albums have a distinctly different sound overall, seriously what are you basing this criticism off? you probably listened to, like, 4 singles by them and thought "wow gay they sound the same" and gave up.....and don't get me started on the comics. i HIGHLY doubt that you read a single issue, lol, you're probably just the type to dismiss comic books as stupid overall

there's obviously nothing wrong with constructive criticism and having differing opinions but that was just downright retarded, like, of all the countless retards in this thread your comment really stood out lmao. poorly thoughtout, based on next to nil knowledge of the band you berate, poorly written, and juvenile as fuck. best part is during your coheed rant you fangirl over a mediocre band like slipknot midway, and expect us to take you seriously afterwards or think all that criticism is coming from someone with good taste in music

the internet is just a megaphone for morons dwelling the planet....smh
actually, hell, anyone here who calls coheed talentless are crackheads and assholes with incredibly poor judgment and lack musical knowledge....people, you can dislike a band while acknowledging their talent, like seriously, who the fuck are you to call them bad at what they do? one could call that opinionated, but no, it's just objectively wrong. listen to, say, 'my pal foot foot' by the shaggs- i never figured that song/band out, probably was just a joke, but THAT is objectively bad. THAT required no talent, it doesn't fulfill its mandate as a song, probably few can enjoy it unironically (trust me, there's always that one guy who's into weird, obscure shit, so i wouldnt be surprised by that possible minority).....none of that however can apply to coheed, and i don't care what you say. "the singer's voice is too high!" isn't a valid argument, you legit must've been dropped on the head as a kid if you think that indicates a lack of talent.

this is all i have to say regarding this clusterfuck of a thread, it's probably been long dead but i dont care, it needed to be said. consider this a lesson learnt- whether you like or dislike a band, an opinion you're obviously entitled to, at least have some fair judgment without coming across as an ostentatious fuck who thinks they know everything. there is an objective and subjective balence when it comes to works of art, it isn't all black and white. coheed have talent, you just don't like the sound. PERIOD

oh, and btw, slipknot.....LOL

ah, rebecca, you wonderful clown you. if only you'd read this.

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